Running the Gauntlet

I'd been watching the Great Blizzard Bank Heist from afar, figuring it really didn't impact me at all.

"Monster Lizard Ravages East Coast!"

After all, Classic Era doesn't have guild banks, and my toons in Cataclysm Classic aren't in a guild. I was about to say that neither were my Retail toons when I remembered Puggers Anonymous, the guild that Rades created back in the day.

I knew that Rades had left some toons in the guild for storage purposes, and I will never remove them as long as I'm around, but I also wasn't sure if Rades had actually created a guild bank or not. I never really used guild banks for my own alts in Retail*, although in Classic Era I have been tempted to create a guild just so I can keep the whispers of "hey, wanna join a guild?" away.

So I decided to login to take a look.**

First, I had to run the gauntlet of Blizzard-foisted "Gear Updates" to allow me to "catch up" in what my gear ought to be versus what it actually was. Given that Balthan was in the L30s circa Mists of Pandaria, and his gear was likely quest greens and the occasional blue, it would have made sense to take the Gear Update.

I didn't take the gear update. I was perfectly happy exactly as I was hanging around Ironforge, thankyouverymuch.

Before I could even got to check the guild bank, I was inundated with what I will politely call "stuff".

What's New? How about that overly cheery
Chromie, for starters? Or the new character models.
Or pretty much anything after mid-Mists.

Then there was a Wrathion pop-up:

It went by so fast while I was trying to read the What's New
that I ended up having to login on another toon to
get this graphic once more.

I remember him. He was that post-Cataclysm egg you saved out in Badlands. (I think.) Funny how they grow up so fast, yet the passage of time in game seems to be so tightly compacted. If I were in charge of writing in WoW, the first thing I'd do is spread the timeline out. 

Anyway, in case I didn't get the memo, there was also this quest pop-up:

Again, I had to take the screenshot from another
toon because I simply ESC-ed out before
I realized I ought to get a screenshot of that.

And then there was this:

You don't say...

Given that my last talent changes were a DECADE ago, I would expect that they've been reset. Blizzard has this thing of making change the standard operating procedure, because nothing can ever be just good enough as-is. And no, I don't want to teleport to Stormwind. The last toon that I had that was at max level was in 2014, and I've no desire to go through any of the last 5 old expansions, much less the current one. Just let me check the guild bank. Sheesh.

I also discovered that despite my best intentions, Blizzard is constantly hounding me to spend my talent points:

You can't click X to get rid of it, and no amount
of finagling will allow me to remove it. The annoyance
level is right up there with the "DO YOUR DAILIES!" crap that
people would push for in TBC Classic and Wrath Classic.

Given that I've been known to go several levels without spending talent points in Classic and Classic Era --eh, it's not a big deal unless you hit the "big" levels such as L20 and L40-- this constant nagging would get old really fast.

Still, I managed to finally clear my screen enough to go check the guild bank:

In case you're wondering, Balthan has exactly
172 gold on him. Yes, I'm poor even in Retail.

So Rades never bothered to create a Guild Bank for Puggers Anonymous. 

*Almost all of my Alliance toons were part of whatever that old guild on Ysera-US was called, but my bank alts and my Horde toons were guildless by the time I pulled the plug on Retail in 2014. I have since checked online afterward and discovered that all of those Alliance toons were eventually kicked out of the guild. Or the guild disbanded. Whichever.

**I also had a short conversation with Kamalia in the comments of her most recent post in Kamalia et Alia, while I tried to puzzle through how a returning player from years away would work in terms of picking up an old toon and trying to play once more. Maybe after the conversation I shouldn't have been surprised when I logged in, but I certainly wasn't expecting all of this to be thrown at me at once; I felt like I was in some Bizarro World dodge ball game.