Who Dresses Up For Plowing the Fields, Anyway?

Waaay back when I first tried out Guild Wars 2*, one of the main complaints I had about the game involved fashion. Or rather, that the game was full of beautiful people wearing their Sunday Best clothing, even when they're out in the field farming and doing menial tasks.

Okay, so I'm in Divinity's Reach.
One of these NPCs actually said,
"He's going to look across a crowded
room and instantly be smitten."
So at least they're self aware.

To my mind, tasks where you get grimy are not the sort of time to be wearing your best clothing, and I likened it to looking at Medieval and Renaissance art depicting people farming in the clothes you'd wear to Mass. 

Take a look at the bottom right, and remember
that those are the peasants.
The Three States of Medieval Society,
from The Regime of Princes by Rouen,
Based on Gilles de Rome's work of
the same name. From classes.bnf.fr.

Fast forward to today, and I still have those opinions, although I can articulate them better now.

As much as I admire Kamalia's fashion design using WoW's transmog capability, I will be the first one to admit that wearing those outfits while "working", ala fighting and adventuring, is akin to those peasants in the painting above wearing their finery while being on the business end of a horse and plow. 

This is an entirely separate argument from the "boob window" and other sins of F&SF armor design, as while the boob window is designed to titillate, the fashion behind RPG gear doesn't really fit with the job description. After all, it's as if we're a modern soldier wearing our dress uniforms while on patrol in a flashpoint area around the globe. As much as camo is its own fashion these days --go to your average Bass Pro Shop or Walmart and you'll see what I mean-- its original and still most common usage is to blend in with the background while hunting/fishing or in active duty military.**

***

If there's one thing that's a trope of any society, it's that fashion matters.

As much as I've tried to dance to the beat of my own drum, even I have to conform to societal customs if I want to blend in and not be noticed.***

Are you going to work? Wear the clothes most commonly worn at work.

Are you going to a wedding? Dress up. In prior years that meant a sport coat and tie, but now you can get away with "business casual", especially if you're corralling a bunch of kids in tow.

Are you going to a funeral? Dress up.

Are you going to work out in the yard? Wear old clothes you don't mind getting dirty.

It's pretty much common sense, and if, for example, you go to religious services --pick one, any one-- you're likely to be dressed up to varying degrees. And if you're a kid and you come home from church and want to go play, well, you'd better change out of your church clothes before you do or you'll have to be really careful not to get those clothes dirty. 

Or you could have parents like mine who, after going to a Saturday evening mass (yay, Catholics) gave my brother and me the ultimatum that if we came inside (even just to change) we had to stay inside. And you can guess what I decided to do: stay outside even though I was wearing slacks/corduroy pants and a button down shirt. And you want to talk about standing out, especially in the Summer, that was definitely it.****

If society places certain demands on fashion now, imagine what that might have been like "back in the day". The scarcity of certain hues and dyes meant cloth made of such colors were reserved for highest classes; such as, oh, Royal Purple. (It's right there in the name.) And that's not even taking into account the types of clothing worn by the various classes of society.*****

***

Now, it's one thing if your toon looks something like this:

Been hanging around with those ne'er-do-well
pirates in Stranglethorn Vale, have we?

Obviously Card's wearing stuff that nobody would confuse with something formal, such as this:

Neve: "A Dawnweaver always presents well."
Me: "Yeah, whatever."

But which look would be more appropriate for getting in a mix-up with some nearby yetis?

Me: "You stay out of this."

I was thinking about the appropriateness of Neve's Robe of Power when I remembered an event well over a decade ago. Back before the woods near our house were torn down and houses went up, there used to be an old wooden shack back there. I used to hear from neighborhood kids at the bus stop while I waited with the mini-Reds about how the shack was haunted --typical kid stuff-- and that people would go back there and drink beer without being caught by their parents. I stuffed that knowledge in the back of my head but never thought much of it until one night in the Spring. It was roughly around midnight when I heard quite a few cars going by the house all at once. Our neighborhood used to have its share of people who would speed through as a short cut, so I poked my head out to see if it was enough of a problem to warrant calling the cops.

It turns out that wasn't what was going on at all.

A bunch of teenagers were parking their cars up and down the street and then walking up toward the woods, carrying six packs. All were dressed in very formal outfits, especially the girls.

"Huh, didn't know it was prom," I mused as I shut the door. I knew exactly what they were all up to that night.#

The sight of those girls in those big bright formal dresses and heels navigating the woods at night is what I think of when I see toons wearing gear that look like this out in Azshara:

Uh, yeah. Shouldn't Card be
at a dance somewhere?

***

We're obviously not playing Dragon Age; the gear isn't getting splattered with mud and blood, and we're not leaning into the grimdark aspects of gaming ala Dark Souls. I'm not advocating for gear that is a constant downer; people want their toons to look good and have fun playing the game. I guess that for me that means that --especially for the NPCs-- their clothing match the their activity. Or at least look like, well, what you'd expect people to look like. 

#Blaugust2023

*A decade ago if you were keeping track.

**I mean, duh. Camo is short for camouflage.

***As much as a red headed bearded guy can blend in, that is. After all, there aren't that many of us out there, and because of that we do tend to naturally stand out.

****I have a story about an event that occurred one evening while I was still in all of that church clothing, but it's one of those stories that requires a very specific topic to dredge up. Let's say it involves puberty, girls, relationships, and perceptions of the same, and it's a story I've never ever forgotten.

*****You know you've been playing too many RPGs and MMOs when I have to clarify what I meant by "classes".

#I know Bruce Hornsby and the Range aren't trendy --they weren't very trendy or popular among fans of the bands I listened to back in the 80s-- but I liked them. And really, if you like what you're listening to that's all that counts.

Forever in... well... you know****

A week or two ago, I was asked when I was going to get an alt to Outland. My response was that if I was going to get another toon to Outland, it was likely going to be a Horde toon. I'm not exactly sure why the people who asked were so surprised*, as I've not exactly been shy about Neve and Quintalan's existence. Maybe people just figured that I'd stay Alliance all the way or something.

But here I am, with Neve at L28, shuttling back and forth from between Ashenvale and Hillsbrad Foothills, and having a blast along the way.

One thing I have noticed, however, is that some of the Mage specific gear is similar to the Mage gear that Cardwyn accumulated, while other gear pieces are very different.

This particular robe, the Manaweave Robe, is familiar to any Alliance Mage who wore robes early in their career as part of Mage quests:

Don't get any funny ideas, Vor'el.

As you can tell, the Sindorei version of the Mage questline is quite similar to the Human one in that you get a Manaweave Robe, but the Forsaken version yields something quite different:

This is called the 'Lesser Spellfire Robe'.
I don't see anything "lesser" about them.

Does that robe look a bit familiar? Does knowing that the robe came from a Forsaken help? Well, for those who remember the Arathi Basin in-game map....

Theoretically, that's Jaina on the left.
No idea who the Forsaken on the right is,
but apparently Forsaken have a
real 'zombie rack' about them.

Yeah, that looks a helluva lot like the Forsaken Mage's robe.

And yes, I will grant anybody who noticed that yes, the Lesser Spellfire Robe looks a lot sexier than the Manaweave Robe.

Or even sexier than this "Social/RP" robe that drops in Silverpine Forest, the Dalaran Wizard's Robe:

Hmm... I think I need to get
Card over to Silverpine Forest.
Except that the Dalaran Wizards there
are all Green. Hmmm Neutral AH we go.....

But you know what? There's a quest around L27/L28 that has Neve shuttled over to Orgrimmar and talking to a Troll Mage there. I presumed that Neve was about to get the wand quest --after all, it was around that level that Cardwyn got her wand quest-- but it was a "go collect water from Xavian and we'll make a robe for you" quest. I figured that wasn't going to be too hard (it wasn't), and I ended up with this Nether-lace Robe:

Yes, Neve was in the Barrens
when I took that screenshot.
I miss Barrens Chat.

Oh yes, it's another sexy yet functional robe.

I think I see a trend here....

***

The ironic thing about this is that Neve has begun acquiring all of these RP-style robes as my opinions concerning these robes have begun changing. It's not that I've suddenly become a "cool dad" or "horndog dad" or something, but more that my kids' attitudes toward clothing has changed, and I've been dragged along for the ride.

For the longest time, the girls have worn t-shirts and jeans, and if they ever experimented with clothing it was out of my view. As Cardwyn's personality is a mix of my daughters', that kept Card's clothing choices kind of, well, blah. Function over form, I suppose. 

But they grew up, went away to college, and then when they came home for break, I started seeing items like this in the laundry:

Or a mesh version, but
this will do. From tobi.com.

Or crop tops, that would go like, well, this:

It's not like tobi.com is going
to see a sudden uptick in purchases,
but you get the idea.

Or underwear or bras that definitely did not fit the "functional" end of the spectrum. 

If the girls thought they were going to faze me much, they underestimated me. I just kind of shrugged and dealt with it. I mean, I went through a"fashion revolution" when I was at university, which was amusing because right after I graduated the "grunge look" came into style, and my entire flannel wardrobe from 1989 would have suddenly been hip were it not replaced by stuff that my female friends had pilfered from their brothers' and boyfriends' wardrobes.**

But still, I never walked around with the male equivalent of sexy shorts/underwear.....

From buzzfeed.com.

so your mileage may vary.

As you can see, the girls grew up and began to follow their own identity and make their own fashion choices. Which leads me back to Cardwyn.

It's one thing for me to say that Card's personality is a mix of the girls', but it's quite another to actually let that personality change over time. After all, Card was pretty sheltered growing up on a farm in Eastern Elwynn, and her parents had incentives to not attract attention to themselves either. But as time has gone on, she's been exposed to more and different cultures and ways of thinking. She's become an adult and has developed her own tastes. So while she still has a societal (and fashion) grounding in how she grew up, she's definitely expanded her horizons a bit. So.... while there are times when Card seems unrecognizable to me, such as wearing the Crystal Webbed Robe without a shirt underneath, I have to realize that my own children have moved on from their own starting points. What may look overly flirty and flaunt their assets in a way I'd never conceive of my wife doing***, it is only natural to them. 

And the same is with Cardwyn (or Neve or Az). Although to be fair, Az has always had a more open take on fashion and what is "acceptable" than Card ever has. And Neve... Well, she's not nothing to lose. She's confident, snarky, and glib in a way that the original Neve never was, but that's also a reflection of how my playing MMOs have changed in the 11+ years since I started her. Mage wise, Neve is very much the Yang to Cardwyn's Ying. Maybe there's a story there, how they met, because if Card ever made it to Outland, the possibility was there that two Mages of a different faction would join the same Outland faction (Scryers).

***

Now, about Briganaa...

She's kind of a tough nut to crack. 

Before anybody says "hey, she's your toon, dress her as you see fit!" I recognize that I'm probably agonizing over nothing. But for me, I want Brig's personality to be distinct from my other toons. 

At one point, while Brig was leveling in the mid-L60s, she was wearing some leg gear that I could only describe as Daisy Dukes. They were so short that I wondered why on earth Blizz still had her tail coming out a hole cut in the back of the shorts. Wouldn't it be easier, I reasoned, if Blizz just converted it to a skirt and not worried about the tail hole?

When I showed the (lack of) clothing to my questing buddy, she quipped, "So how does it feel?" We'd already had some amusement with the fact that Brig --as a Draenei-- was so tall that Humans were barely at an eyeball level to her breasts. But this felt different.

"I don't know," I replied. I don't really know what Brig would think about it.

"How come?"

"I think that's because I don't know what Draenei --in general-- would think about [those shorts]. Brig has her own personality, but I don't really know what that is yet."

And I still don't. 

I've seen enough Draenei NPCs interacting that I know they're not of a monolithic hive mind or something, but they've also been under siege for so long that sort of creeps into your head and affects everything you see. And, I must admit, I've seen some of the NPCs out in the field act occasionally flirty or sexy, but I know enough that they also have a sort of Pollyanna-ish attitude about them. You know, the sort of thing where if Brig ever came to the farm and greeted Card and her family with a "Good health, long life!!" Card would turn to the closest person to her and say "Is she for real?" And that presence, combined with that dance of theirs, and you'd be left wondering if the Draenei even understand what sort of vibes they appear to give off to the other races.

Those are the sort of contradictions that I have to work through before I can truly understand Brig better.

Because of that, fashion and Brig are kind of a black box right now. But one thing is certain, if you go to the Naga camp west of SSC and north of the Horde base, you'll see the female Naga wearing some sort of oversized leather dress. I took one look at that and thought "THIS. This is the sort of thing that Brig would wear when she wasn't fighting: low key, stylish, and practical." That Briganaa is both a Skinner and Leather Worker would make it a perfect fit for her as well. 

When you ask if you can have one, they
get all mad at you. Believe me, I've tried.

***

Oh, one last thing. This is something I've been working on for a while, and I don't know when the entire thing will see the light of day, so I figured why not and post a little bit.

As is usually the case, this is a work in progress, so it still needs editing and blah blah blah.  To set the scene, this is when Cardwyn finally reached Stormwind and is about to deliver her mother's warning to SI:7. The message is hidden, strapped to her arm and covered by the sleeve of her robes.

I picked up my pace and walked through the unmarked door.

Inside, desks were laid out in an orderly fashion with mounds of paperwork atop each, while people of all Alliance races read, marked up, and set aside one sheet of paper after another. If I didn't know any better, it looked to all the world like some large mercantile operation, organizing trading from far away locales such as Auberdine and Everlook. Portraits decorated the walls, with the occasional landscape mixed in for added flavor. Two adjoining rooms contained more desks and people, although there were primarily physical items atop each desk. On more than one desk I recognized vials similar to the ones the nameless Kaldorei used, and made a mental note to keep my distance.

I approached the desk closest to the door where a man sat, writing away. Judging by the paper he kept referencing, he was translating something.

"If you're looking for the Mage Quarter," he said in a bored tone without looking up, "you made a wrong turn. Go back through over the canal and head west, not east."

"I'm in the right place, sir," I replied. "I'm to deliver a message to the Vintner from Alice Gray."

He stopped writing, the hand with the pen hovering over the parchment. "And I'm to believe you about this?"

Mom had prepped me for this possibility. "Day or night," I recited, "rain or shine, Alice Gray always delivers the harvest to the Vintner."

All activity in the room came to a screeching halt.

I could feel eyes on me; only a fool wouldn't feel them now, but I kept my focus on the man before me. He carefully set his pen aside and looked up.

And promptly fell over in his chair.

"Light!" he exclaimed as he picked himself off the ground. "How is..."

I heard the main door close quietly behind me. If Mom were wrong, my day was about to get a lot worse. Out of the corner of my eye I saw an auburn haired woman whisper something to a coworker and run up the stairs in the rear.

The man managed to recover his wits in record time. "Well, if you've a message for the Vintner, then let's have it," he said after brushing off his clothing.

"I'm to deliver it personally, sir," I replied, certain that the man could hear my heart pounding in my chest.

The man cleared his throat. "Yes, well then. You see, the Vintner is a busy man, and if you intend to deliver it personally, you might have to wait a while."

"I can wait." If he thought I'd risk Mom's wrath by not following her instructions to the letter, he was in for a surprise.

"Yes, of course." The man returned to his chair and picked up his pen.

Dad's training came back to me. Never take your eyes off of an enemy, he admonished during a particularly hard practice session. They will try to distract you to gain an advantage. Don't let them. Keep your focus on them at all times.

As I stood there, waiting, the man tried returning to his work without success. "Begging your pardon, ma'am," he said after several failed attempts at writing, "but can you please sit down? I have this work to finish before the end of the day."

"I'm comfortable standing," I replied, "but I'll step back."

"No need," another voice interrupted. "I'm here."

A man dressed in black came down the stairs and approached me, followed by the auburn haired woman. His own hair was a shade lighter auburn color, with a matching mustache and goatee. What struck me the most, however, were his eyes: the color of a sun drenched pond, they were focused on me with an intensity I'd seen before only from Mom.

The man at the desk scrambled to stand at attention. "Sir," he began. "There's a--"

"--message for me from Alice Gray," the man in black finished. "I'll take it from here, Jasper."

"Yes, sir," the man saluted and returned to his desk.

"And you, Young Mage," the man in black added, "please follow me."

 

I followed the man up the stairs while the woman fell in behind me. At the top of the steps we turned right and headed into a relatively unassuming room. There were a few paintings on the walls, a large map of Azeroth spread out on a table, and a desk with several chairs.

And one small green man.

If there was a way to stuff more teeth into one crazed grin, I don't think it'd been invented yet. He was shorter than a Dwarf, and far more intimidating than a Gnome. He had pointy ears that stuck out from his head, but unlike the long slender ears of the Elven kindreds his were stout and thick, like the difference between a skinning knife and a throwing one. His eyes dripped malice, yet when he saw me he let out a howling laugh. "Was that Jasper I heard down there, Boss?" he guffawed. "I'd have given a lot to see the look on his face when he got a load of her!"

"Jasper needs to work on being less excitable," the man replied, "although I suppose he can be excused this time."

He nodded to the woman behind me. "Thanks for the alert, Sloan."

"You're welcome, Sir," she replied and turned to me. "It's an honor to meet you, Young Mage."

"Same to you," I replied, wondering what she was talking about. I hadn't done anything noteworthy.

After Sloan shut the door, the man motioned me into a seat. "Well, Renzik," he asked the green man, "What do you think?"

"If it were up to me, Boss, I'd say that some people, such as Jasper, need to do a bit more facial recognition training. Oh, at first and even second glance she's a ringer, but close ain't gonna win ya some gold at the Mirage."

The man nodded, scratching his goatee. "I guess it was inevitable that you'd come here, Cardwyn Songshine," he said at last.

Somehow, I was not surprised he knew my name. "You're the Vintner, I presume?"

"Yes I am. I'm Mathias Shaw, and this is Renzik, my lieutenant."

I think I was supposed to be impressed, but in some weird way my lack of knowledge made me bolder than I ordinarily would have. "Then this is for you," I replied, using a flick of the wrist to dislodge the letter from the leather device hidden on my arm. The letter fell neatly into my hand and I held it out to Mathias.

Mathias took the letter and turned it over a few times. "Renzik," he finally said, "I'm going to need some privacy. This is a personal matter."

*My questing buddy wasn't, for example, when I mentioned it. She knew of my fondness for Neve and Q.

**A whole lot of American Eagle was going on in my wardrobe.

***Dear, if you're reading this, go for it. Go ahead and blow my mind, I'm ready. (I think.)

****Yes, I shamelessly stole from a Gap jeans commercial. The commercial features Neil Diamond wearing Gap jeans, goofing around on a green screen. Finally he says, "Forever in, well, you know..." referencing his song Forever in Blue Jeans.

EtA: Added the explanation for the title.

Say, Wouldn't that Hurt?

To say that gear/clothing found in many video games, particularly those in Fantasy and Science Fiction genres, emphasize form over function is a bit of an understatement. Of course, if you pick up a random pencil and paper RPG splatbook, you're likely to see pictures of PCs/NPCs wearing "impractical" gear/clothing scattered throughout the inside.

For every RPG that has art like this:

I recently acquired this. Makes
for fascinating reading, and it
looks very much like a D&D 3.0/5e lite.

 You have something like this:

A Cyberpunk RPG.

And don't get me started about how some novels depict things:

And this wasn't even the most
obnoxious of the Flandry novels.

And of course if you've ever played video games, there's a lot of fanservice designs too. You know, like the Spider-mage robe.

I'm not here to complain about that, because it is what it is. However, when I saw the artwork for BC Classic, something caught my eye.

From the WoW Classic website.

 I mean, nothing too unusual here: the oversized shoulders for all toons, the hefty bodybuilder look on the male toons, and the bustier look on the female toons...

But for the female Blood Elf, I noticed the pointed end of that bustier settled right. over. the. belly. button.

Even cloth "armor" needs some
form of basic reinforcement
to maintain that form.

It looks nice until said Blood Elf has to lean forward or bend over or something. Then that point goes right into the belly button and the gut. And that's gotta hurt.

By contrast, the female Draenei has a much more practical design (at least what we can tell):

Honestly, they look less like a bustier
and more like American Football
shoulder pads.

I'm not denying that, fashion wise, both look very nice. And comparatively speaking, not so much fan service as just a personal look. But I'd hate to cosplay that Blood Elf look solely for that pointy little reason. Probably rounding the bustier out a bit would work, or just flattening it out like the Draenei version would work too. But Blood Elves gonna Blood Elf, I guess.