What Goes on in My Head, Yet Again

After my post last week, Shintar and Bhagpuss collectively kicked me in the ass to get me out of my funk. They might disagree about how I characterized their comments, but that's how I took it. And it was greatly needed.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about that last post, and referencing a few other posts, such as this one from this past July (or during Blaugust), or even why I shun the spotlight to my detriment, as I've opined on several occasions here over the years.

Those brooding, often melancholy moments, remind me that in the Nature vs Nurture debate I'm far more on the side of Nurture. We are the products of our experiences, whether we like them or not, and it takes a lot of effort to overcome deep seated tendencies that stem from those experiences. When people talk of the term "reverting to form" I imagine this face in the Wikipedia article:

This ol' pic is getting up there
in age.

***

I've had a hard time of thinking of anything more to say than what I've already said about this, other than I used to not be this way when I was much younger. I used to not be the sort of person who hid from others, who put up impenetrable barriers in gameplay designed more to keep myself separate than preserving a sense of "authenticity" or some other bullshit excuse I can think up. No, I learned to do this as a reaction to my own life experiences.

And really, I don't want to rehash more life stories any more than I have to. I mean, if you've read the blog you know about some of them already, and I'm hardly unique in that I was bullied or forgotten in my youth. 

But I will say that I had become introverted enough by the time I reached college that after I took the psychological exam that all incoming students at UD took back then*, I was summoned to the Health Center for a discussion with the shrinks there. My responses were such that they were concerned I would be able to function in a collegiate environment, but as I told them, I hid it well. 

You'd think that over the years at work that I'd gradually outgrown this sort of reticence, but that has most definitely not been the case. I've learned to tolerate it, that's all. It's only when I can relax and let my guard down that my introversion comes rushing back to the forefront, such as when I'm gaming. 

Someone mentioned in a YouTube video I was watching last week about how the automated dungeon finder in WoW was a godsend for introverts and the shy people who have a hard time reaching out and forming groups on their own, which gave me pause. WoW's well known toxicity kept me from enjoying dungeon runs in Cataclysm and later, but I do have to admit that selecting a role and waiting for a dungeon to pop was a lot easier than trying to reach out and do it yourself. While some people complained that it encouraged passivity, I'd argue that for the shy it was a godsend.

There were times --even in WoW Classic-- that I wanted to get into an instance to finish a quest or three, and I'd get a whisper that I shouldn't be looking for that instance because I'd outleveled it. That sort of behavior encouraged me to shut up and be passive when watching for groups, because people couldn't just keep their opinions to themselves.

***

Still, I need to be more responsive to my friends. They know me well enough, and in spite of my foibles they do appreciate me. That's where the kick in the ass came in handy.

"I might have deserved that..."
From Pirates of the Caribbean:
Curse of the Black Pearl.

*I have no idea if they still take those exams today; I don't recall any of my kids having to take psych exams for their Freshman year. For me, the exams took about 5 hours on a Saturday, and the guy I drove up with had psych problems of his own, namely that of his very overprotective mother. If there was a mom who fit the classic Italian-American stereotypical mom, it was her. She even called the university to check on him while he was taking the exams. This was in an era before cell phones, mind you, and he was totally embarrassed when they summoned him out of the exam room because his mom called.

EtA: Added a link.

Meme Monday: Meme-tober!

Okay, that doesn't make any real sense, but it certainly sounds good.

Anyhoo, I've been working on another post as a follow-up to my last one, but in the meantime, have a few snorts/chuckles/whatever:

Before Gorak's Guide, there was
this. From memedroid.com and
batvader9001.

Thankfully the healers I know aren't
like this. From memedroid.com
and ghostwolf901.

Guilty!!!
From J!nx on Pinterest.

There's a ton of variations on 
this meme out there, but
I really liked this one.
From Gametiptip.com.

You Could Call it My Preseason

Back when Cataclysm first dropped, I was in the middle of leveling a Draenei Paladin and the original Nevelanthana. Both were in Outland at that point, so I decided to rechristen their leveling process the Convoy to L85. Complete with a song from 1975 filled with CB radio lingo:

Doing both toons, it took me from December 7, 2010 to January 19, 2011 for them both to ding L80 and then head for Cataclysm zones. Getting to L85 took a bit longer, the first week of March, but still that was also not going totally gangbusters either.

Mists was a bit different. I decided on Azshandra as my new main not too long before Mists was released, and I leveled her all the way straight to L90, mixing up Battlegrounds with questing out in the field. That misadventure took from August 2012 until June 2013 to complete. Of course, I was also heavily playing SWTOR and LOTRO at the time, so that also contributed to the slowness in leveling.

Why do I mention these things? Because I have a history of not rushing out and heading straight into the new expac. That contributed to my thought process in deciding to start from scratch in Mists with a new toon --Az, in this case-- because I figured there'd be no way I'd enjoy the chaos up in Pandaria. 

Looking back on it, I think the only time I logged in for a brand new experience and actually followed through on it was the release of WoW Classic itself.

The scene in Teldrassil on Myzrael-US,
August 2019. I wonder how many of
those toons are still being actively played?

I logged in, looked around, got a few screenshots, and then logged for a couple of hours, figuring that there'd be no way in hell I could complete any quests with that crowd around. (Plus it was dinner time.)

Hmmm... I do recall checking out the Cataclysm pre-patch on the night it went live, but I also recall making a ton of gold on Neve porting people back to Orgrimmar from Dalaran.

So imagine my surprise when I was heading to Zul'Farrak to farm some greens there to disenchant* and my questing buddy --who I was grouped up with-- said "we're kidnapping you".

***

Now, you have to also understand that allergies have been killing me all week, and I finally gave in last night and took some Benadryl, so I wasn't exactly in a very lucid state. Still, my brain completely fizzled out when suddenly two more people popped into our group and they decided on running Utgarde Keep.

"Uh... I was actually feeling tired, because I took some Benadryl."

I believe somewhere in the responses to my declaration was my questing buddy saying she was having none of that, and since she'd already joined me in Zul'Farrak I began waking up because I had a hard time keeping up with her and killing things.

So, away to Northrend I went.

I told my questing buddy on the ship to Valiance Keep that "this doesn't count" as far as me going to Northrend. I only collected a flight point --force of habit-- and then we did the same for Howling Fjord and away we went.

Somewhere in the middle of all of this I completely woke up and briefly thought about fleeing --the old fight or flight response to a surprise-- but I suppressed it. My questing buddy was looking out for me, and I'd be a pretty damn poor friend if I went and hid.

Although I'll be completely honest in that when I switched my Details meters from Threat to Damage, I wanted to hide from embarrassment: Deuce was barely doing more damage than my questing buddy, who was healing on her Disco Priest. 

The warlock, who was also a good friend, was doing about 80-85% of the damage in every single fight.

And it's not like Deuce is totally undergeared, as she has the full Brutal set from running Alterac Valley, plus the PvP Staff. None of those pieces are terrible, and they fit in roughly with a range from T4 through Zul'Aman to T5 gear from TBC. So, roughly middle of the pack epic gear but with Resilience, that classic PvP stat that keeps a body from being one shot in Battlegrounds. The difference was that the warlock had at least T5 --and in some cases T6-- gear, so he was running with easily some of the best stuff out of raids in TBC Classic. You know, stuff I would have had a shot at getting if I'd not had to drop progression raiding back in January.

Which then reminded me that I was once again on the outside looking in, and that I was essentially being carried through this instance.

So in the span of an hour, I went from surprised/stunned to reluctant to grateful to happy to embarrassed/humiliated. 

***

Oh, how was Utgarde Keep itself?

Like riding a bike, really. After a few minutes you remember the cadence. 

Although to be fair, I know more about interrupts and how things tick for a Frost Mage than I did back in 2010-2011, and that probably cost me a bit on the damage meters. I would interrupt and use Spell Steal to keep the additional damage off of the tank, who, being a Bear tank with a lot of T5-6 gear himself, didn't really need the help.**

I'd have completely enjoyed myself if it weren't for that constant reminder that I was not pulling my weight. Even the mage table is totally useless for Northrend, since the mana and health pools are so much larger than those found in Outland.

Someone shared a couple of quests along the way, and I accepted the first one strictly from muscle memory and then I realized what I was doing. I then refused the second quest and deleted that first quest from my log. Not until I officially go to Northrend will I do any quests up there.

And that concluded the first night in my "preseason" before I officially head to Northrend. 

I was extremely happy to be back in Outland by myself this morning.

*Long story, but in order to progress in Tailoring, after a certain point you need items such as Imbued Netherweave. To make THAT, you need Arcane Dust, which is found by disenchanting TBC Classic greens. But in order to get to the Enchanting level to disenchant THAT, I need to get to 275 in Enchanting. Deuce, being 230-ish, needed to get up to 275, which meant targeting green gear for disenchanting so I could then turn around and use FOR enchants to raise my skill level. And to find the green gear that would disenchant properly, the best places to look are in Uldaman and Zul'Farrak.

See? Clear as mud.

**It's still good practice, though, like using Frost Nova and then Deep Freeze to keep a caster in a mob from healing/casting.

Where'd the TIme Go, Part Whatever

PC began on September 29, 2009. 

The blog is now a teenager.

Saints preserve us.

Same Same But Different

Wrath Classic dropped at 3 PM Server Time Monday, and I was an expac behind.

Again.

But let me make one thing perfectly clear: this time, it was by choice. I deliberately chose to not board the boats (or zeppelins if you're Horde) for Northrend on Launch Day, because I firmly believed it was going to be a nuthouse. 

Our 10 person raid team had a "get to know you" sort of raid on Sunday, which was a combination of Zul'aman and Karazhan --minus the pre-patch Invasion boss in Karazhan-- and it was there that I discovered that the pre-patch included some additional nerfs to the bosses in these raids.* But when the question as to who is going to do what when Wrath drops, I told them I was going to wait in Outland and quest there for a little while. "I'm not entirely convinced that the boats won't have a Sultana re-enactment when they head for Northrend," I replied.

While the boats didn't blow up and sink --which admittedly would have been just the sort of thing that the Lich King would have loved-- I found out that afterward that on Atiesh-US the first ship to leave for Valiance Keep circled around and came right back to Stormwind's port. The people on the ship couldn't get to Northrend afterwards, so they had to take the port that Blizz put in place when things went south.

On the whole, however, people swarmed all over the place on Atiesh-US (and to a lesser extent, Myzrael-US) and I was grateful I was not caught in the middle of that mess.

My questing buddy logged on that evening and was going to group up with me to do some questing in Outland when she got pinged to join a couple of dungeon runs, so she headed off for Northrend too. That meant I could goof around by myself for a bit, and then I figured "why not" and ran some Alterac Valley battlegrounds. 

Deuce just hanging around with
The Knights Templar. Who knew?
(This particular screencap was the night
before, as I couldn't find a decent looking
one from Monday night.)

***

Did I miss not being there?

Uh... Maybe? Maybe not?

Okay, there are thoughts that I need to unpack here, and it starts with adjusting to reality:

• The questing would have driven me nuts.
  
  It kind of goes without saying, but the crowd in Borean Tundra and Howling Fjord had to go somewhere, and for those who chose to level gathering professions or quest out in the field were going to find it extremely hard to do. I don't care how many layers Blizz puts on a server, people have to go somewhere.
  
  Additionally, I want to quest at my pace, which is a LOT slower than most other people. If I were grouping up, I would have simply stopped picking up quests at all just so I wouldn't slow down the leveling group. Even my questing buddy zips around from quest to quest much faster than I like, so I've pulled that before on her where I just hang around and kill things with her. I go back much later, in the very late night/early morning, and quest on my own where I can relax, read the quest text, and enjoy what is being presented to me. It's been since 2013 that I've actually been out in Northrend, enjoying the leveling experience in a non-beta fashion, and I want to savor the experience. Maybe on the 3rd or 4th time I'll start speeding up, but now? Are you kidding me?
  
  
  

  

  There was a Horde toon just out of view
  from this screencap, impatiently waiting
  for this to end so they could get moving
  to the next quest.
  
  And yes, I RP walked for this.

  
  My desire to quest at a leisurely pace would have put me at odds with almost everybody out in the field in Northrend, and all it would have done is gotten me frustrated. Even though there were at least 50 --and likely more-- people in Zangarmarsh when I was there Monday evening, I barely saw anybody. It was nice to quest and not deal with people pulling mobs out from under me. You know, like what it was when Briganaa finally made it to Outland on her own.
  
  
• Chain running instances to level quickly is not my idea of fun.
  
  Everybody has their own idea of fun, and yes, I do enjoy running instances. If I've done those instances before, hey great, let's chain run a few. No biggie. But running them time after time to level quickly? Eh, no thanks. 
  
  That's the big difference between Deuce running some instances in Outland and Brig doing the same. Brig was doing them in their original, more difficult state, and I was just learning how to do those instances. Additionally, by the time Brig (and later, Linnawyn) got to Outland, people were already burning out on chain running instances to level their toons as quickly as possible, so I had to pug a lot (or in Linna's case, simply not run instances at all.) 
  
  Deuce, on the other hand, got to Outland after the pre-patch dropped and at the end of the expac, so chain running Ramps and Blood Furnace was a nice exercise in figuring out just how overpowered we were compared to the beginning of the expac. 
  
  I have to clarify something here: I really really like Wrath 5-person instances. I really do. Just like I really really like BC 5-person instances. And Classic instances. The problem is that people just want to use instances as a means to an end, while I want to enjoy the instances as they are. It's like people who skip all of the interlude text/interactions in SWTOR Flashpoints and then get grumpy when you have someone in the group who is reading it all for the first time. Well, I'm one of those people who --like when questing above-- enjoy those small parts of group content. 
  
  

  

  Part of the reason Questie exists.

  
  What I'm concerned about is that by the time I get to Northrend and actually want to run some instances, people will be burned out just like in BC Classic and I'll just make do. I mean, I can certainly make do well enough, it's just that I feel like I'm watching June 2021 on repeat.
  
  
• Grinding out the Wintersaber Mount on OG Cardwyn taught me how to get maximum XP gain out of low level zones.
  
  It may seem kind of funny thinking of Winterspring or Silithus as low level zones, but compared to the content in TBC Classic they were. After I left the Monday raid, the Wintersaber Mount grind became something that kept me playing. And sane, to be honest. I learned how to spread out my XP so that I could always keep the Rested XP boost going, and how critically important it was to pace myself to prevent burnout. 
  
  So... Along comes Wrath Classic, and oh look, I've got a metric ton of quests available to Deuce in Outland.
  
  
  

  

  Here's the proof that it works.

  
  Take a good long look at that screencap. What do you see?
  
  1) The only zone that I "completed" was Zangarmarsh.
  2) Nagrand has exactly ZERO quests complete.
  3) My XP bar --with Rested XP active-- shows Deuce is over halfway to L71. And this was just after getting really really close to finishing up Terokkar Forest.
  
  What you don't see is that I completed only 18 quests total in the following zones combined: Nagrand, Blade's Edge Mountains, Netherstorm, and Shadowmoon Valley. For reference, 16 of those quests are from one zone: Shadowmoon.
  
  I have plenty of room to work with to get XP for. And unlike a lot of other people, I've not been out grinding every chance I get. If I take my time and do it right, I could potentially be at L73 by the time I hit Northrend.
  
  
• Will I last that long before heading north? No.
  
  I may have willpower, but I only have so much willpower. I realize I've got about a month to get to L80 before we start raiding, so I know I've got plenty of time. Still, I don't want to leave my questing buddy in the lurch. She's leveling her Priest, Zarlie, as Disco, and I know from experience that leveling as a healer out in the field absolutely sucks. So, I'm going to make the jump up to Northrend as soon as I feel like there's enough space out there in the field to quest and I have enough gold to afford purchasing Dual Spec. I'm going to be a Fire Mage for raiding, but everything else? It's Frost. Deuce is returning to my Frosty roots.
  
  
• Do I really hate having the spotlight on me? Oh hell yes.
  
  I mean, it's me. Did you have to ask?
  
  I may be back on a raid team, but I'm not on the leadership team. While I may have seen the sausage put together, I don't have to worry about it any longer. 
  
  

Of course, this will likely all change by tomorrow, but we'll see.

*It was scary, to be honest. We finished Zul'Aman AND Karazhan and had 30 minutes to spare before the raid was due to end. When I commented on how insanely fast the raid was proceeding, I was told my one of my fellow ex-Monday raiders that a raid team she's been on lately has been doing SSC + Gruul + Mags in one night.

**"Sultana?" the raid lead asked.

"Yeah, the steamboat that was filled with ex-Union POWs from Andersonville that was heading back north. It was overloaded with people, the boilers overworked, and on the way back home the boilers blew up and about 2000 people died."

"Holy crap, they were coming back from Andersonville prison camp? I've been there, and it's a horrific place."

And for the record, here's one article about the Sultana and here's a link to the Sultana Disaster Museum, which includes links to this podcast.

Words of Warning

(Normally, these pieces of fiction percolate in my head and in draft form for quite a while before I'm satisfied enough to release them into the wild. This time it was a bit different.

I wrote this very quickly, within the span of a few hours, and it passed through a couple of basic tweaks after I removed one big chunk that really had nothing to do with the story at hand. I'm not totally satisfied with it, but the release of Wrath Classic forced my hand.

As you probably know from reading the blog, I'm not fond of the entire Malygos questline. It makes no sense, and even if you knew the comics and/or other fiction Blizz puts out that isn't in game (see: why the hell Varian Wrynn is King of Stormwind in Wrath of the Lich King and not his kid) it still doesn't make sense. But it is what it is, and I'm determined to make some lemonade out of the lemons that Blizz presented us with.

Hence this piece.

As is usual, this is a piece of short fiction. Any resemblance to people, living or dead (or a dragon, I suppose) is purely coincidental and really, I'd have to ask if you've been dropping acid if you think dragons are real. Card and company are property of Redbeard, who thought up this whole mess. Blizz retains the rights to their characters and setting; this was based on Wrath of the Lich King Classic, and not Retail.)

Words of Warning

by Redbeard

“Do you really have to go, Aunt Cardwyn?” Lewys asked me for what had to be the twentieth time today.

My nephew flopped on my bed and propped up his chin with his hands, while he watched me organize my pack. He was flanked by his younger sister Starlys, whose face was contorted into a permanent pout. Their big sister, Carys, made her displeasure known by her pointed absence from my room, in the vain hope that giving me the silent treatment would make me come to my senses and stay back at the farm instead of heading off to Northrend, the fabled northern continent where the Kingkiller Arthas ruled.

“Yes, I really do,” I replied with a sigh. The kids were making this harder on me than they likely knew, as once my temper cooled off after the flashbacks from Naxxramas I found myself reluctant to leave home. I had made the commitment to finish what I’d started, to see Kel’Thuzad destroyed once and for all, but I was afraid. I knew what it was like inside that dreaded floating citadel, and I would have to walk those passages once more, facing old enemies that no doubt could smell my fear.

“Why?” Starlys demanded. “Why are you going, Car-wyn?”

“Because Kel’Thuzad is back, kiddo. You won’t remember this since you were just a baby, but a couple of years ago Kel’Thuzad led the Scourge in an invasion of Stormwind, and the Scourge even attacked the farm. Auntie Evelyn sent Carys to Stormwind to find me, and I brought friends here to help fight them off.”

“Oh!” Lewys exclaimed. “I remember that! Elsharin came and brought Elves with her!”

It would figure that my nephew was more impressed with Elsharin bringing some Silver Covenant Rangers here than seeing my friends, since they played Rangers and Trolls just like I did when I was their age. Still, my mistress never let on exactly how she pulled that off; she only vaguely mentioned that someone owed her a favor.

“Yes,” I replied, stuffing another article of clothing into my pack. “When that attack was over, I swore an oath that I would defeat Kel’Thuzad for threatening your lives. I thought I’d fulfilled it when we killed Kel’Thuzad, but he won’t stay dead.”

“Can’t you just stay here and protect us?”

“I wish it were that easy, Lewys. But if Naxxramas comes here to Elywnn, we likely have lost everywhere else. Even in Orgrimmar and Ironforge. It’s better to defeat them far away from home, so the rest of Azeroth can fight together.”

“Like how Auntie Evelyn fought at… Hyjeel?”

“Hyjal.”

“Yeah, at Hyjal.”

“Yes, like that.” Mistress Evelyn spoke about that battle in only vague terms, but out of that she gained far more sympathy for the plight of the Orcs than in all those years of the Second War. A sympathy, I might add, that was not shared by Mom and Dad. Still, the formal letter from Thrall thanking me for my part in defeating would-be usurper Rend Blackhand was framed and hung on the wall in the house. “I’m going to fight the Scourge far away so that they never come here to the farm.”

“We’re going to miss you, Aunt Cardwyn,” Lewys added.

“I’ll miss you too, kiddo.” I wanted so much to tell him that he had a talent for Magecraft, but I didn’t want him to get a huge ego over it. Better to let it lie for now and me just be there to nudge that talent along slowly than try to force things. “While I’m not around, you three are supposed to keep up your studies with Auntie Evelyn, right? I’m sure she’ll keep you busy so the days will just fly on by.”

“Hmmph.” Starlys doubled down on her pout.

“Well,” I said, cinching my pack closed, “that’s most everything I need. I can always come back and grab something if I missed it, so I’m sure that I’ll see you three from time to time. After all, it’s nice and warm down h—”

A shadowy blur zipped past my window, followed by Carys shouting something outside.

Meme Monday: Saying Goodbye to Outland Edition (very late Monday/early Tuesday edition)

Okay, not really. I'm planning on hanging out there while the locusts swarm over Borean Tundra and Howling Fjord (and the associated dungeons), and then show up some days later. So far, so good, as things are quieter in Outland now.

From memegenerator.net.

Hey! I know that guy!
From Reddit.

Or, "How I Got Card and Deuce
and Neve all Geared Starter Pack."
From Reddit.

And one bonus Retail Meme:

Uh... You can say that in Retail and
not get banned?
From Reddit.