Truth be told, I’ve not felt much like writing the past few weeks.
I guess that’s to be expected, since I wrote more posts for the past year (187) than I have at any other year during the blog’s existence while at the same time working on personal writing projects. And that doesn’t even count the writing and reports I put together for work.
While I understand the allure of using tools such as Chat GPT and others to compose for you, I really dislike the lack of control that those tools encourage. While I’ve seen those tools likened to using a car’s automatic transmission or other time saving tools, none of those other tools replace the human as the center of the creative process quite like the so-called generative AI tools do. It could be argued that you have full control over the editing process, but I’ve found from watching people at work that once the AI tools get their hooks in, you begin to simply accept their suggestions more and more without a critical eye.
That’s the long version of saying that I’m going to keep writing the way I always have been –with me composing at the keyboard— without any reliance upon generative AI in the creative process.
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As I’ve approached 2026 with some weariness on the writing front, I’ve also come to a bit of a crossroads with my gaming. Perhaps its more of a recognition that my physical skills never were as good as I wished they could be,* and that the reality of retirement being a little over a decade away has lent a bit of weight to my end-of-year musings.
It’s now four years on after I cheated Death,** and I have found it more of a struggle to maintain my numbers than before. Oh, I still make my numbers well enough, and my doctors are happy with how I’m doing, but I’ve come to recognize over the past 3-4 months that it’s not quite so easy as before to maintain my weight and blood pressure while eating the same amount of food. There are two obvious answers here, to exercise more and to eat less, but I have enough foresight to recognize that there’s only so much I can do before things start to decline again. As one of the Diabetes team members told me, what I’ve got are progressive diseases, and you can only hold them off for so long. Not exactly the most positive assessment of my situation, but probably the most realistic.***
Still, the knowledge that my time is finite has changed what I want out of gaming. I was never one to chase highs from defeating bosses or in PvP, although I’ll freely acknowledge the rush in doing so, but I’ve pulled back from that in general. I get more out of playing with people, enjoying their company, than I get from competing with people. I am less tolerant of drama when it detracts from my long term enjoyment of a game, although there have been times when I’ve thought long and hard about stirring up some crap when I thought some asshat truly deserved it in Gen Chat in an MMO.
I’ve also become more and more interested in the types of connections that people make within video games. Perhaps that’s been piqued by my own experiences, making firm friendships within MMOs and the blogging community,**** but it could also be due to my fascination with how the RP community operates in Retail WoW (and to a lesser extent LOTRO and FFXIV).
Yes, yes, I know: that fascination can fuel an unhealthy relationship with… players… in Goldshire’s Lion’s Pride Inn on Moon Guard-US. And I have to admit that I’m still stunned whenever I poke my nose in there by the sheer number of people getting their freak on.***** It’s slightly more normal when you go into Stormwind, but even then let’s just say that there’s always something there when I run through to the bank or the Auction House that makes me go ‘WTF?’
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| Yeah, this certainly did. |
And run into a light pole, too.
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| *CLANK!!* |
I’m not about to deny people their fun, because I’ve lived the Satanic Panic and am extremely wary of people claiming moral authority and informing me what I can and can’t do, but I do wonder about the connections we make in games, and where some of these more extreme personal expressions fit into the gaming spectrum.
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| Definitely puts a crimp into me working the AH. |
For all the people who brush those weighty concepts off, saying “Nah, Bro, it’s all just joking around,” I think they sell themselves short. From the benefit of having watched the internet rise into its current form over the past 35+ years, I don’t think we can brush off the connections we make as “not being important”. In the end, these connections are all we have that stand a chance at outliving us, because most of us will never paint a Mona Lisa or construct the Notre Dame. And in the case of video games, a company could decide to pull the plug on a live service game tomorrow, and what would you be left with then? Memories of the game and the connections we made.
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Yeah, I’ve been pondering some deep issues this past month or more, and I don’t have a clear resolution to them. I watch some of my in-game friends chase raiding in TBC Classic, and while I wish them well, I’m not following in their path. I’ve no desire to deal with drama, the need to push yourself hard to keep up, and following the gear treadmill to validate my playing a game. It’s not a matter of the old accusatory line “If I can’t keep up, I’m taking my ball and going home” that I know my decision could easily be interpreted, but for me it’s more of a “If I can’t keep up, I need to find a different way to have fun and remain valued.”
*There, I said it. I'm not as good as I ever thought I was; if I were, I'd have a bit more success under my belt than I have. I recognize that external success with dexterity-heavy systems such as video games and sports such as soccer or basketball is highly dependent upon who you play with in addition to innate skill, but I now have enough hard-earned knowledge to admit I was never as good as I hoped. And Father Time hasn't exactly done me any favors over the past decade and a half, either.
**Or rather, my doctors cheated Death.
***As I cynically used to put it, “We begin to die as soon as we’re born.” I’ve seen that quote attributed to various people, from The Bhudda to Bret Harte, so I have no idea who first said it, and I’m not inclined to spend a few hours or more chasing that down.
****Given what I know of my readership, if you’re reading this and this post gets the average number of pageviews there’s a greater than 70% chance you and I already are acquainted in the community. Now watch this post blow up and make a liar out of me.
*****Sure, there could be mere bystanders, like me, but I doubt we’re even close to a quarter of the people in there at any given time. And if you are a bystander and are in there for more than a minute or two, you’re likely propositioned at least once. I know I have, and in my most recent encounter I wasn’t in there for more than a handful of seconds to turn in a quest and sell some stuff. Yes, despite appearances, there’s still a quest giver inside the Inn.
